Low self-esteem?

Check out the Goliathon 800 Moon Hater Death Ray!

Since the dawn of time, Man has gazed wearily with fear and contempt into the cosmos. One luminescent beacon in particular has looked back, chiding and heckling us like a giant white space jerk, the Moon.

Now, thanks to the ingenious contrivers at Goliathon, we have at our disposal a means of heckling back and then some! This imperious metal behemoth will make a superb centre-piece to any laboratory or lounge and allow you to begin a well rounded bombardment of any Moon habitation you fancy, all from a comfy chair.

Brought to you by Weta!