No, this post isn't about poker. I barely know how to play poker. It's about the way that we human beings act towards commitment.
What is your first reaction when someone asks you to be involved in something? I know some of my reactions: I want to think of an excuse or I mentally sigh or I just get angry. I mean, I have things to do, right? Important things like ... checking my email and watching videos on YouTube. That's the problem right there.
We have such an aversion to giving of ourselves, and I think you can really see it when it comes to serious life commitments like marriage and, you guessed it, the priesthood. This is one of the big reasons behind the high divorce rate and priest shortage: we are just not willing to give ourselves totally to one thing.
It makes sense in my mind: "How can I commit to something now? Who knows what I will be like in the future? Anything could happen ... I don't want to risk myself like that."
The problem is, that God wants us to give everything. Whether we are in the seminary or working as a teacher or contemplating marriage, we are called to give everything we have to God, just as Jesus gave all of Himself to the Father on the cross.
It is in our very nature to give ourselves away. It is only through loving another that we truly find ourselves and, in the end, the only person who could truly show us who we are is the One Who made us.
In my case, this means devoting myself to a real spiritual life. I have to admit, that I often fail at this: slacking on my holy hours and not praying the Office in the right state of mind. We all do these things for many reasons, but I am convinced that there is an element of fear in our actions. We are afraid to completely surrender everything we have (including ourselves) to God.
I encourage you to look at the ways that you might be holding back. Tell God that you want to be totally His and ask Him for strength to mean it.
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For some enlightening reading on this sort of idea, check out The Passion of the Lamb: The Self-Giving Love of Jesus by Fr. Tom Acklin and The Story of a Soul by St. Therese.
2 comments:
the 3rd last paragraph reminded me of Deus caritas est. nice job.
Mike you're very honest, and it's welcome.
I was typing out two weeks of Antiphons for LoH (for someone who only has Universalis), when I realised it was structured so amazingly, and yet I also don't always do it in the right state of mind.
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